


Infinite Feathers for Maximum Fluff

by Jokess



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Child Abuse, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Past Child Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 18:43:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,322
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21081317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jokess/pseuds/Jokess
Summary: Giftswap fill for nihilBlissDave and Rose get their sibling bond on post game. Affection, fluff, ridiculous memes and even more ridiculous references, and some serious discussion ensue.Minor/Background relationships of: Kanaya/Rose, John & Dave, and Kanaya/Karkat (Moirallegiance)





	Infinite Feathers for Maximum Fluff

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nihilBliss](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nihilBliss/gifts).

\--turntechGodhead [TG] has begun pestering tentacletherapist [TT]--

TG: rosie  
TG: roseanne  
TG: rosalind  
TG: rose beef  
TG: roses and guns  
TG: rosetta stone  
TG: roselia  
TG: rose tyler  
TG: rose weasley  
TG: rose quartz  
TT: She was after your time.  
TG: im the time guy there is no such thing as before or after my time rosacea  
TG: rosario + vampire  
TG: rosemary  
TG: and whoever said i was talking about the big buff woman anyway maybe i was talking about the gemstone which existed way before i did  
TG: wait shit  
TG: at the same time i did because i am eternal  
TG: roserouni kenshin  
TG: cmon sis they only get more egregious from here and I know youre just aching to put your two cents into the coin slot which is my psyche  
TG: and like you didnt hear this from me a little asshole birdie told you but one dave strider cool guy extraordinaire wants to chill with his sis five feet apart in the hot tub because people are fucking disgusting and will assume we arent gay  
TG: i mean im not but the meme must be fulfilled it hungers  
TT: I suppose I have left you dangling over the cliff of uncertainty for more than long enough. And, amusing as that has been, I’d much rather hang with you too, little brother.  
TG: aw hell yeah  
TG: wait why the fuck am i the younger one i was born a day before you  
TG: plus we had that family meeting last month where we all discussed our ages in relation to one another  
TG: well most of us did but ill get back to you on that  
TG: where were we  
TT: How long you’ve existed for.  
TT: I thought you always existed.  
TG: i have i didnt forget that i was testing you  
TG: i wasnt born yesterday  
TG: happy belated birthday by the way  
TT: It’s not- Oh. Oh my. It seems I’ve been duped. Bamboozled.  
TG: youve been smeckledorfed  
TT: That’s not even a word and I agree with you.  
TG: you ought to you know as well as i that i was born with glass bones and paper skin  
TT: I know. Every morning you break your legs, and every afternoon you break your arms.  
TG: then at night i lay awake in agony until my heart attacks put me to sleep  
TT: You poor creature. Of course I’ll let you buy your way into my house. What’s your ETA?  
TG: outside your door as of rosie  
TT: You’re ridiculous, you know where we keep the spare.  
TG: yeah i do but what fun would that be  
TG: ive got it now im coming in prepare for the most unpleasant pillow fight of your life

Distantly Rose heard the turning of a knob and the opening of a door. At the moment she was sitting cross-legged on her bed, jade green laptop in her lap and, she knew, an inquisitive look on her face. There were a million and one things Dave could be coming to her about including nothing at all, he liked to shoot the breeze with her and Dirk so much she was highly suspicious he thought he had to make up for lost time. He didn’t, and she’d like to nip such a silly notion in the bud, but now was not the time or the place. Once upon a time, years in the past, but not many, she’d have gotten to the bottom of whatever was causing Dave’s emotional constipation at the first sign, but she’s grown up. He’d grown up. Fuck, they’d all grown up. Some better than others, what few trolls were left had adapted remarkably well considering the circumstances, and Kanaya- well, perhaps she was a bit biased, but it was hard to see her wife do anything but well. Which wasn’t to say they didn't have their problems, at the point Sburb, Sgrub and all it had caused might as well be called Trauma: The Game, just that they had a remarkable support system within and without their little group. She hadn’t seen, or Seen perhaps, their group of players becoming close to the humans, trolls, carapicians and consorts who saw them as gods, but she was glad for it. They all needed as many people on their side that they could get. That was one thing everyone could agree on even if they couldn’t agree on anything else, at least not easily.

Just as her thoughts began to drift deeper into the meat of the opinions and philosophies which still divided their group, there was a knock on the door followed by Dave. Saved by the bro.

“Saved by the bro, had you taken any longer I’d have thought thinking about combat, philosophy, life and perhaps even love. A terrible fate really, you should be ashamed for making a lady wait.”

“You’re not a lady, you’re nothing but a dumb old sister. Still, glad to save you from thinking about anything, that really is a terrible fate. Who’d ever want to think? Grody to the max.”

From halfway across the room he couldn’t see his sisters eyebrows raise in question and, perhaps, in preparation for a waggle, but he’d heard himself and knew she was sure as he knew she was sitting on her bed cross-legged, green laptop in her lap. He could see that much easily, though as always details were lost on him. “Dirk’s bro, me a little to the left, said it a lot, apparently. Found that out as part of our rewards. You know, when we stepped through the door and had those...dreams I suppose, about someone who cared deeply about us, but was no longer here.”

“Though my doubts lessened over the years-” A snort from Dave made her stop mid breath. He knew exactly what that was about, and though he was absolutely right, she still picked up the nearest pillow and threw it at his head. It slapped across his face with a satisfying thunk and puff of feathers. Alchemization was a beautiful thing really, giving them things they never knew they wanted, like pillows which puffed out infinite feathers, meat apples, and the coziest, fluffiest, self-cleaning blankets, sheets and socks. Yes, socks, no one appreciated a good pair of socks these days.

“All right, since we claimed our reward and our suspicions about your guardian were confirmed. So I had my doubts when I had my dream, but after I heard how you were treated and re-evaluated my dream sequence, those doubts have dropped almost to zero. I know she loved me very much, but still it’s strange to think of her as a babysitter. Not because she wasn't capable mind you, but because she had this whole other life outside me. Of course she did, I wasn’t even a twinkle in her eyes as she looked to the skies for meteorites. I wonder what those kids would be like now, I wonder if she loved them more than-”

Before she could reach her inevitable conclusion another pillow slam-plopped over her head courtesy of Dave. This time around the spray of pillows got into her mouth, so after clearing them she made sure to give her brother an extra poignant glare. “You did that on purpose.”

“You were getting grim and angstier than a teenager staring at her first pimple during prom night.” He shot back without hesitation before picking up a third pillow and smacking her with it a third time. “Besides, I promised you the pillow fight of your life. What kind of older brother would I be if I didn’t deliver?”  
“By one day.”  
“By three years actually, and just over four years older than Dirk and Roxy who are twins. We decided at the Strilonde family meeting last month. Maybe if you weren’t late for elf practice you wouldn’t be stuck as the middle child.”  
“It was date night and we had a wonderful evening, thanks for asking.”  
“You stole my boyfriend so you could make him a whole new wardrobe.”  
“I never said it was my date night. Moirails have date nights too, and sometimes, in this crazy new world of ours, they invite their girlfriends over so that they can give invaluable information about color schemes, final fittings, lacy things and human exclusive fashion trends like metal studded leather jackets and distressed jeans.”  
“Y’all want to come again with that their middle one, Lalonde?”  
“Oh you know.”  
“Actually, I’m not sure I do or even want to.”  
“Well, you’ll see dear older brother. Alchemical accidents aren’t the only ways to get someone heated.”  
“God, that was a disaster, but I don’t think I like the implications behind what you just said, sis.”  
“Oh no, no. I would never, nor would any of the rest of us no matter how prone to nefarious schemes we are. That truly was an accident which worked out well for all parties involved.”  
“...Well, I can’t exactly argue with you there. We had a pretty great bro time afterward. Smoked the electric lettuce, talked Bottoming for Surprisingly Kinky Aliens 101, how we might replicate the effects of the alchemization in the future, giggled like schoolgirls because we were high as balls, acted like idiot best friends, it was pretty great actually. I’m glad we have him again, I really missed him for those three years.”  
“What was that middle one again, Tex?”  
“Denied for calling me Tex.”  
“What was that middle on again, David?”  
“That’s not even my name! And even if it was, that’s worse than Tex.”

A glance over at Rose and her waggling eyebrows told him exactly what she was going to say next.

“Oh no the hell you ain’t. Don’t even think about it Rose. I told you that in confidence. Y’all’ll be sorry, tickle torture won’t even begin to describe the revenge y’all be in for. Don’t forget I’m best bros with a pro prankster as well as a giant dork.”  
“Seems a small price to pay for getting to see you blush redder than Karkat.”  
“Oh come on, like that’s even hard. I have albinism, every other blush which mars my otherwise cool guy cheeks is one that’s redder than a dark grey skinned alien’s blush.”  
“And yet I’ve not seen one since the last family meeting when Dirk asked you who topped.”  
“I swear it’s like he’d never heard of a switch before in his life...which you know, could very well have been, except I know for a fact Roxy knew, and no way she didn’t try to bring that up with him.”

As promised a bright red flush tinged his face from hair root to cheeks. I was, for him, a relatively light blush, but still more than embarrassing enough for him to blindly reach for one of the pillows. He managed to grab one, but not before Rose grabbed one of her own and threw it in his face. She followed it up with a second pillow thwacking directly into his ribcage, and a third over his stomach.

“Just over six seconds, that’s a new record, you jerk.” He spat as the rain of feathers settled into his hair, his lap and across the bed.  
“Just making up for lost time and the pillows you threw at me Elizabeth, just as a little sister seeking her justly revenge should do.”  
“All right, that’s it, you're out of the will Rose. I hope you like spinsterhood.”  
“Oh no, oh dear, whatever shall I do without Dirk’s collection of vintage orange soda or your collection of Obama merch?”  
“Bold of you to assume I’d let anyone inherit my exclusive Jedi Obama figurine. It’s NRFB you know.”  
“Gasp, NRFB, not MNB?”  
“That’s right, and if I hand it over to just anyone they’ll open the packaging because they think he’s in cryogenic stasis and ruin the collector’s value in trying to free him”  
“Wasn’t that the secondary plot to toy story two?”  
“Motivation, the old prospector was NRFB so got old, salty and dead set on being a complete collector’s set because he was never played with.”  
“And yet he was still alive, though Forky’s existence implies that, to be alive, someone, possibly a child, has to interact with them. Which really does raise the question of why he was alive. Or, more accurately, why the old prospector was alive.”  
“Jesus holy fuck and Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, that is so not the existential think piece I needed to have in my life, thanks Rose.”  
“You’re welcome.”  
“I think it was a hive mind. The mass-produced toys like Prospector, Buzz, and even Woody shared a consciousness of sorts. That way only one toy, or a couple of hundred- however many were test toys were needed to give the rest personality. And why they had the same personality, but could develop different ones as time went one. Which is why the Prospector, who was a kindly old man, but dumb as shit, in Woody’s Roundup, could be manipulative, unscrupulous and down right cruel.”  
“An interesting theory, but personally I believe that a toy just has to be considered a toy to be alive. Someone, anyone, has to make that designation of them. That’s why Forky wasn’t Forky until Bonnie decided he was, he was just a spork. And since this designation is made by people, whose perspectives are going to color their interaction with they toy to be, mass-produced toys like Prospector and Woody end up having the same base personality, because that is what is expected of them.”  
“Okay, but then what of that outtake when Prospector was removed from the box and was with the Barbies? What if he was removed from box and then sealed. Al had that guy touch up Woody, he could very well do the same for a dumb old box.”  
“Oh shit, you right. But then how do you explain the RC Bo Peep disguised as a skunk?”  
“It was a toy that died after not being played with for long enough. I like to believe it went peacefully, knowing it was well-loved and that it’d be useful to someone years in the future.”  
“But not many. Also, holy fucking dark and tragic theory, Batman. You do know that means Bo Peep and the others are riding around in its corpse the entire movie.”  
“Yes, it’s a great aesthetic.”  
“You have me there. But enough of this grimdark bullshit. I promised you a pillow fight, and you’re going to get it.”

With that he raised a pillow high in the air and, with as much melodramatic tension as he could muster in slow motion, brought it down over Rose’s head. She immediately grabbed two more from behind him, damn him for not watching his six, and simultaneously swung them into his ribs.

The pillow fight quickly devolved from there. Dave let out a primal howl as he grabbed the last of the pillows and parried Rose’s next two swings with his own. Feathers exploded everywhere, flew across the room and settled in places they wouldn’t be found for weeks as the two tried to land hits. It was an even fight though, Rose matching Dave’s speed and feints with unerring accuracy and dodging tactics.Was it cheating to roll under the bed to keep safe from a barrage of pillows from not just one, but three Daves? Yes but Dave wasn’t supposed to use his powers, the cheat, and all was fair in love and pillow war. And besides, it was amusing to see all three of them search for her blindly, because she’d moved quick and far enough that his vision, shitty as it was, couldn’t keep up. Amusing, but also amazing to see, for it wasn’t that long ago he’d have all but panicked over not being able to track someone. He really had come a long way, again, they all had. Not in the way she’d expected or Seen, but that was okay. She didn’t need to know everything. And besides, she didn’t want to be any different from how she was now. Hell, she didn’t want any of them to be different. They were leading their best lives. She’d take that over realizing some kind of grand, all-consuming and encompassing destiny any day.

Hours later, but not many, she had her legs stretched across Dave’s lap while he used all the pillows, and most of the feathers, to prop himself into a half sitting half lying position on her bed. He kept pushing them off in between picking the last of the feathers out of his hair, and she plopping them right back on. It was a recipe for a tickle fight he’s inevitably lose, he was supremely ticklish and she had access to infinite feathers, so before she could be up two-zip; she’d won the pillow fight with a hat trick, he spoke up.

“We really are brother and sister ain’t we? I know that’s dumb to ask, because obviously we are, just doing stupid shit like this: Pillow fights, tickle fights, badgering one another about who the middle child is or other dumb, pointless shit, and coming over just to hang, is what siblings really do. You know, I never thought I’d have that. Even after meeting Dirk and Roxy, and getting to know them, I never thought we’d be like brothers and sisters. I’m glad, things are better this way than what I imagined. Not that y’all wouldn’t be great as friends, but...honestly I think I need you all. I think I need brothers and sisters. Fuck, I think we all do. We were all pretty lonely when it came to family, and yet we still always cared so much for one another.

So, as much as I’m over it, as much as I’m done, I’m glad he wasn’t the one in my dreams, Knowing he never really cared, knowing for certain that is- was, the best damn thing that could have happened. And Davesprite is no Obama, but I think I needed him too. I think I needed to hear that I really cared about myself, even if it was me just a little to the left. I love you Rose, and I love my family, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to get you back ten fold for winning our pillow fight, nor am I afraid to yeet you off my bed if you get that foot of yours any closer to my face. Not my thing man, keep those stinky things a million feet away from me.”

“A million feet you say?”  
“That’s it, you’re banned from the will again.”  
“Damn, I’ll sneak my way back in though. I love you too Dave.”  
“And you’re right back in. Damn you Rose. Now are we going to get off the bed so we can make lunch and invite Dirk and Roxy over are you going to skip out on another family meeting.”  
“I’m texting them as you speak, Dave. Dibs on fielding Dirk’s first decapitation joke.”  
“Double damn, I can’t argue with a dibs. Dibs rule is absolute. Fine, but I say we tell them to order pizza and if it doesn’t have pineapple on it for irony’s sake they’re the ones out of the will.”  
“Done and done, but don’t think we’re not going to have words about just how ironic the pineapple is.”  
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.”  
“Me either. They’ll be here in thirty minutes, Jane approved pranks at the ready.”  
“I can’t wait, I have some golden ones in store direct from the OG prankster himself, wanna kil the next half hour by hearing them all?”  
“I thought you’d never ask. Go on big bro, do what you do best and ramble, I’m listening and writing up a game guide as we speak.”

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact! The pesterchum style text, minus the chumhandles and '...started pestering...' message is exactly 413 words.


End file.
